5-24-11 Catching Tornadoes and Zs in Oklahoma

John and I are finally back to chasing in our old stomping grounds - Oklahoma.  This is where we cut our teeth chasing.  Most of the stomping was done by Mother Nature on our inexperienced assessments of where to be in relation to tornadoes and worthy weather-type events.   Those were the mid 1980s, back when REAL storm chasers ruled the plains, and annoyed the weather services at various airports.  Those were the days when our pre-school skills of coloring outside the lines came in quite useful. Those were the days when John and I figured we just had to park our butts in Norman and wait for the storms to parade by.  Our film cameras were loaded for bear (but shooting at chipmunks).  We were the puppies and storms were the rubber balls.  We would chase any cloud larger than a Winnebago, with wide-eyed expectation.  We often went home with a boat load of unused Fuji film mailers.and heightened skills at putt-putt golf.

We are back; older, wiser and paying four times more for gas and lodging.  Granted we do stay at much nicer establishments these days.  Holiday Inn Express is our choice of camping.  No more Super 8s or Day's Inn for us.  Motel Six?  We laugh at you!

Rear Window - Not just a horror movie anymore (our view)

I am not the suspicious type or one who dwells much on conspiracies, but I am certain the hotels in Oklahoma have pictures of us behind the counter, on the "Do Not Sleep" list.   We have stayed in four hotels around the state, and in three of them we were relegated to the VERY back room.  Sort of like the crazy uncle who is kept out of sight, away from the normal customers.  At the Perry, OK Holiday Inn Express we were given a second story room (in the way back) When we pulled back the curtains,expecting a nice view of the countryside, we were greated with a myriad of of heater vents - aluminum roof mushrooms.  See the picture...

 Back rooms may seem like just any other room on the surface, but they are inherently flawed.  The WiFi, when it actually makes it that far, is usually hours old.  The walk to the breakfast bar usually requires a base camp halfway down the hall, with sherpas to assist with the transport of our multiple bowls of  frosty flakes and watered-down cranberry juice.  The hot water is barely tepid after it's day-long journey.  Also, guess where the ice machine is typically located.

While I personally favor the accommodations of the Holiday Inn Express, I am wondering what exactly the "Express" part of the name is supposed to imply.  Is it that we are to rush our Holiday?  "Holiday Inn" is so...relaxing, calming...and then that "Express" word shows up and gets us all jumpy and anxious.  Go go go!  Must meet some deadline!  No time to lose!   One is also led to wonder, what happened to Express's older brother, plain ole "Holiday Inn"?  Did he retire, or was he just left to fade away with his shag carpet, wood paneling and dowdy burnt orange drapes?  If motels could speak, I would imagine ole Holiday would roll his bespeckled eyes at young-punk Express, and in a grampa-like voice say "Who needs those new-fangled mini-offices, fitness rooms and breakfast bars.  Most of y'all don't even have a proper pool!"

I have also noticed that of those three new amenities offered by Express, the fitness room and office room are rarely, if ever, occupied.  That's because the breakfast bar closes at 10 AM!  Hotel guest flock to this room like,  like there was free food or something.  When visiting said room, I find it necessary to wear my batting helmet and elbow pads when trying to approach the self-serve waffle maker. The fresh fruit, it appears, is just for show.

I think the death of the mini office room is due mostly to the ability of travelers to pack their own office inside their laptops, tablets or I-thingys.  Fax machines are right up there with turn tables nowadays.  Conferences are now held online or with conference calls.  No need to sit in the same room and wear grown-up clothes any more.   My efforts to reestablish the status of the fax machine, by calling for a E-fax meeting at work one day, did not turn out well.   I was however, amused.  I miss that squealy faxy sound.